A Misplaced Dwarf
by Miriam1
Summary: In a fit of pique, Jareth put Hoggle in a bizarre, new situation.  The story takes place one year after Sarah and Bilbo's respective adventures.
1. Chapter 1

A Misplaced Dwarf

Summary: In a fit of pique, Jareth put Hoggle in a bizarre, new situation. The story takes place one year after Sarah and Bilbo's respective adventures.

Disclaimer: I do not own either _Labyrinth_ or _The Hobbit_.

Chapter 1

Jareth sat on his throne disconsolately, watching many of his subjects visit Sarah through his crystal. She most frequently called for Hoggle, Ludo, and Sir Didymus. Others also managed to get called. Even the Fieries were called. But Jareth, the Goblin King… He was never invited.

The one person who defeated him in his Labyrinth was but a human child. Oh, how she caught his imagination! But he had no power over her, and he couldn't even visit without an invitation. She was still only a child of sixteen, but friendships can be cultivated, and relationships can be developed. None of this had any meaning, however, if she wouldn't deign to talk to him.

Ah, Hoggle, Sarah's dwarven friend, returned. He threw his crystal and it disappeared with his message.

* * *

Hoggle came back from a lovely visit with Sarah. She adored her baby brother Toby, and appreciated him far more than she did a year ago. She got on much better with her stepmother, and things were starting to look up for her. He was about to go out and trim the hedges at the border of the Labyrinth, and was surprised to see one of Jareth's crystals.

He reached for it, and it burst, speaking the message: "Hoggle, I have need of you here at the palace." He sighed and left his pruning shears in their box. He exited the door and was overtaken by a crystal that deposited him in front of the Goblin King.

Jareth didn't appear to be angry, so Hoggle didn't think he was in trouble. That could change in a heartbeat, but Hoggle thought he was safe. For now. Looking up a bit nervously, he asked, "You called, yer Majesty?"

"I did, indeed. It's been a year since Sarah defeated my Labyrinth. She calls on any number of my subjects. Even the worms get called! Yet she never calls me."

Hoggle paused. Did the king want advice or consolation? Or did he merely wish to vent? Jareth's creased brows only displayed his vexation with the situation. He seemed to want a response of some sort. "Well, perhaps she's afraid if she called for you, you'd take Toby away again."

Jareth frowned. "Hogbrain…"

"It's Hoggle!" he corrected the man indignantly.

The monarch continued as if he were uninterrupted. "She has nothing to fear from me, as she rightly declared I have no power over her. Her, her darling brother, her parents, anyone in her sphere of influence in her world. Your spurious suggestion is irrelevant."

Hoggle shrugged. "But she don't know that."

Jareth sighed and shook his head. "Does she at least ask about me?"

The dwarf nodded. "Sometimes she asks how you are. Once, she even told me she enjoyed dancing with you, but then she shook herself and changed topics."

"Did she mention whether or not she would care to dance again?"

Hoggle grimaced. These questions were getting personal, and Hoggle didn't know how to proceed without overstepping boundaries. "Not really, yer Majesty, though she hums a song she said you danced to."

Jareth whispered, "All she has to do is ask."

"I suppose so. You'd have to take it up with her."

"Indeed." That was the crux of the problem. "Hoggle," The dwarf was as touched by the tenderness of his tone as he was by the usage of his proper name. "Next time you visit with her, tell her to call for me."

Hoggle plucked up his courage. "Jareth, I'll take any message you like, but I won't ask her to do anything that makes her uncomfortable."

Jareth grew impatient. "Hogwart, I am your king, and you will do as I say."

Putting his hands on his hips, Hoggle took a stand. "I won't do nothin' ta hurt Sarah again. I'm not sure what that peach of yours did to her, but…"

"Hoggle, this is not up for debate. Tell her that I want to see her, and convince her to call for me, or I'll…"

"You'll drop me into the Bog of Eternal Stench again?" Hoggle's defiance belied his fear.

The impudent creature! "Of course not, dear Hoggle," he purred. "You've already been there. No." Hoggle wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried. "I'll send you somewhere there's a Goblin King far worse than I am."

"But…"

"Convince her."

"Not if she don't want to."

Jareth sighed, raising an eyebrow, and said, "Very well." With a wave of Jareth's hand, Hoggle was gone.

* * *

Hoggle fell face first into the grass. Knowing the Goblin King wouldn't send forth his subjects without keeping an eye on them with a crystal, Hoggle stood up and shook a fist at the sky. "You rat, Jareth! I'm not gonna do anything to hurt her!" Now that he had that out of his system, he tried to get his bearings.

Hoggle looked around and noticed he was not far from a river in the shadow of a mountain. "I've not seen mountains so tall back home."

"I'm not sure you'd find another mountain like this anywhere," an amused voice said from behind him. Hoggle spun to see two people two heads taller than he was, but not as tall as Sarah or Jareth. "Who are you, and what manner of being are you?"

Hoggle gulped, as both people before him wore chain mail and wore rather impressive weapons. He himself was unarmed. "My name's Hoggle, and I'm a Dwarf. Who are you, and where is this?"

Both strangers raised their eyebrows and shared a glance. Why was this person who claimed to be a Dwarf beardless and so small? And why would he not proudly declare his illustrious lineage before other Dwarves and offer his and his family's service? Whatever the reason, they noted the fear radiating from him, and decided to put him at ease, and responded in kind.

One of the taller fellows chuckled kindly. "How does a Dwarf not know of the Lonely Mountain? But we'll come back to that. I'm Balin, and this is my brother, Dwalin. We're Dwarves who currently serve Dain son of Nain, King Under the Mountain."

Dwalin studied Hoggle. "Because of your size, we mistook you for a Hobbit."

Hoggle was confused. "I never heard of a Hobbit."

Balin stroked his beard. "You are unusual for a Dwarf. You have no beard, which is usually the pride of Dwarves."

Hoggle raised his eyebrows. "I ain't never seen a Dwarf with a beard before."

Dwalin raised one eyebrow. "And I've never seen a Dwarf older than fifty years without one. Come – if you've never heard of the Lonely Mountain, you must come and pay us a visit."

Hoggle let these taller, strange Dwarves lead him to their home. "And, as you say, what manner of being is Dain?"

Balin seemed uncertain of what to make of Hoggle's question. "He's a Dwarf, of course. Where were you a year ago, when the ravens sent a call to arms for Dwarves to come to the aid of Thorin Oakenshield? This should be common knowledge."

Hoggle shook his head as if to clear cobwebs. "Call to arms? There ain't been a war in the Underground in all my hundred years! A year ago, I was helping a human, Sarah Williams, through the Labyrinth. Jareth wanted me to lead her back to the beginning, but Sarah called me her friend."

"Friend?" Dwalin cocked his head. "While we have a working trade relationship with the humans in the river town of Dale, I would not say that we are close enough to be friends. And with a female, yet!"

Hoggle frowned. "Jareth wasn't exactly pleased, either. But at first, she…" He was embarrassed to talk about how she bribed him with her _plastic_ bracelet. It was still one of his most prized possessions. And the fact that later she took his jewels to entice him to help her… He was so embarrassed, he decided that he would _never_ reveal that to anyone (besides Jareth, who already noticed it at the time that it happened).

He told himself that he would have helped her anyway. Despite all the underhanded things Jareth made him do, Sarah insisted they were friends. They _were _friends, weren't they? "She made it easy to BE friends. Especially since I ain't never had a friend before." He grimaced. "But he means to take advantage of that friendship now."

Balin considered the small stranger's words. The situation seemed complicated. "Who is Jareth?"

Hoggle frowned. "He's the king I serve. I'm his gardener, among other things."

Dwalin scratched his head. "You must be quite far from home if you were so far removed from the dealings of Dwarves that you missed a rather important call to arms. The war's over, of course. But how did you get here? Where are you from?"

Hoggle heaved a frustrated sigh. "The Goblin King sent me here." His eyes flew wide open when both bigger Dwarves drew their arms, Balin with a battle axe and Dwalin with a short sword. "What…"

Dwalin raised his sword to Hoggle's throat. "That's enough from you. We thought to give you a royal welcome, but we have no love for a traitorous dwarf who would serve a goblin king."

Having no weapons of his own, Hoggle immediately surrendered. He whispered, "Jareth, what have you done?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own either _Labyrinth_ or _The Hobbit_.

Chapter 2

Balin and Dwalin brought Hoggle before King Dain, his hands bound behind his back. Balin began, "Your Majesty, we caught this filth at the foot of the mountain."

Hoggle protested, "I ain't no filth. I don't…"

"Silence!" shouted Balin. Hoggle cringed and complied.

Dain studied the smaller form. "This little fellow is about as big as Bilbo."

Dwalin sneered. "We thought so, too, but he declared himself to be a Dwarf."

"I _am_ a Dwarf!"

Balin leered and Hoggle trembled. "Tell his Majesty who you serve."

Hoggle looked up. "I… serve the Goblin King. But I don't understand…" The comment about a dwarf serving a goblin king caught the attention of all in the throne room. Others came closer to see this interrogation.

Dain nodded; that explained why he looked so very different than normal. Prolonged exposure to evil can twist the features of a wholesome creature. "A Dark Dwarf, then. I've heard stories about dwarves who allied themselves with goblins, and these Dark Dwarves were always a threat to the reputation of decent dwarves everywhere. Dark Dwarves are never to be trusted by the decent races."

"I _ain't_ Dark. What you got against goblins, anyway?"

The assembled dwarves weren't sure whether this bound cretin was daft or filled with gall. No one could be that ignorant. Dwalin narrowed his eyes. "Personally, or in a general way?" Hoggle trembled more violently. "I imagine you thought there was nothing wrong when the goblins almost burned us alive in those trees back in the Misty Mountains."

These people were almost burned alive? Goblins were responsible? That couldn't be possible! He didn't know any goblins who were that clever, never mind malevolent. More importantly, Jareth would never allow such a thing. But wait, where was that again? "Misty Mountains?" Hoggle knew every inch of the Labyrinth, and that sounded like a mountain range he'd never heard of.

Balin said, "And if you serve the goblins, that would explain why you failed to respond to a call to arms during the Battle of the Five Armies."

Hoggle's sense of justice outweighed his fear of his awful plight. "But I told you, Balin and Dwalin – there's been no war I've seen in my 100 years! You said this battle took place last year. We can't be talking about the same goblins!"

Dori realized that all was not as it seemed. "A year ago, Bolg led the goblin charge against the Dwarves, Men, and Elves. Who is the new goblin king?"

Hoggle stared. "New king? Jareth has ruled the Goblin Kingdom for over one thousand years!"

Nori looked askance. "One thousand years?"

Hoggle shrugged. "Give or take a couple decades."

Dain picked up Dori's thread. "Even if you aren't from the goblin kingdom in the Misty Mountains or Moria, it doesn't matter. The Elves know and will tell anyone willing to listen that goblins are evil, and have been since the beginning of time. Our experience corroborates that."

Hoggle shook his head and insisted, "Goblins _aren't_ evil. They're not _smart_ enough to be evil. Goblins are filled with tricks and mischief, but nothin' evil. They mostly do what they do because Jareth tells 'em to, but sometimes they figure out stuff on their own. Jareth's not exactly a goblin, though. I… he's not evil, either."

Balin reminded him, "When we first found you, you called him a rat." He thought for a moment. "You said something about hurting someone."

Hoggle sighed. "Jareth may be a king, but… he can also be a bit of a brat. He's good at comin' up with ways to make folk uncomfortable if they don't do what he wants, but I never seen him _really_ hurt someone." He closed his eyes. "He scares me sometimes. He _could_ do just about anything with his magic…"

Bifur shouted, "The Necromancer!"

Hoggle blinked. "Uh, no."

Dain thought of a conversation he had with Gandalf. "Is Jareth a renegade wizard?"

"No. Jareth ain't a wizard. He's a Fae. They have magic, and… I don't know."

Dain cleared his throat. "Why were you worried that Jareth might hurt someone?"

Hoggle stared at the floor. "It's complicated. See, sometimes humans (and more rarely, other folks) are foolish enough to not value their kids. So sometimes, they wish the goblins would take their child away. So the goblins come and bring the wished-away child to Jareth. Then Jareth either raises the child or sends it off to an Underground couple who wants the child."

He thought for a moment. "I've heard him threaten to turn the kids into goblins – he can do that, you know." Everyone in the throne room was horrified, as they heard that the Great Evil of ancient Middle-earth once did that to captured people, and that was the source of Orcs, Goblins, Hobgoblins, and the like. The Elves were particularly bitter about that.

Obliviously, Hoggle continued. "But he never does that to the wished-away kids; they have enough problems, being unwanted, and all. If the wishers change their mind and want the kids back, they have to run the Labyrinth. If they solve it, they win the kid back. At least, that's the theory. That threat spurs the wishers on to work faster to get through the Labyrinth. I understand that the threat works, for people who are serious about wanting their kids back."

Oin couldn't contain his curiosity, appalled by the idea of a child being taken away, wished away though it might have been. "What happens if the wisher loses?"

Hoggle knitted his brows. "Then, the wisher stands judgment. Jareth decides whether or not to give the kid back and why. It changes per case.

"Sarah, the human I told you about, wished her brother away and wanted him back. So Jareth sent her to run the Labyrinth. She is the only person to have solved it. She won her brother back fair and square." He sighed again. "I think Jareth fell in love with her, but she remembers him best as the one who took her brother away, never mind that she wished him away. It might hurt Sarah's feelings to talk about Jareth as anything other than… I don't know."

Bombur thought about this. "What about the other goblins?"

Hoggle shrugged. "What about the other goblins? With only a few exceptions, the goblins are only half as big as I am." He closed his eyes again. "I imagine they amuse Jareth. They…"

Dain interrupted. "Wait. The goblins of your realm are only half Hobbit height?"

"I guess so. You keep sayin' that I'm the size of a Hobbit, so, yeah."

Dain continued, "And your kingdom has been at peace?"

"For as long as I can remember, yer Majesty."

Dain closed his eyes. "I fear we have served you wrong, good Dwarf. Tell me your name."

Hoggle looked up with hope. "I'm Hoggle, yer Majesty."

"Balin, release Hoggle." The addressed dwarf did so with alacrity.

Hoggle rubbed his now free wrists. "Thanks." He sighed. "You know… Jareth's not all that bad. And you know? I think even Sarah might agree. She might not, but there's no reason I can't try to convince her."

Dain nodded. "If you can convince a court of Dwarves who believe that goblins are nothing but evil that your Goblin King is not at all malevolent, though he may be mischievous, I'm certain you can convince Sarah, who has already seen your king's mischief."

Hoggle smiled. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, yer Majesty."

Before anyone could offer any conciliatory gesture, Hoggle disappeared.

* * *

Once again, Hoggle stood in front of Jareth. "I must say, Hoggle, I thank you for thinking so highly of me."

Hoggle noted the Goblin King's tone of sincerity and raised one shoulder in a half-shrug. "It's just the truth, yer Majesty."

Jareth smiled warmly. "I suppose you're right. I _can_ be a bit of a brat. As an absolute authority, I'm sometimes a bit spoiled." Hoggle paled, and Jareth shook his head. "No, no… I mean it. Thank you for defending me and my goblins to dwarves who have less reason to forgive goblins than you do. Further, I suppose I should thank you for… forgiving me my loss of temper."

Hoggle sighed with resignation. "It happens, yer Majesty."

Jareth smiled more broadly. "Hoggle, take the next three days off. You need to recuperate from today." Hoggle nodded. "And please recommend me to Sarah next time you see her."

This time, Jareth's request didn't fill him with dread. "I will, Jareth. I will."

4


End file.
